My relationship with food

I have always been a little overweight. Honestly, I don’t remember being within my average weight range ever.

I have also always been a foodie. I love eating and I used to really enjoy it.

I would sometimes eat two sandwiches, sometimes 3 bread pakoras, the limit did not exist for me.

That was until one day an unkind family friend pointed that I had a tummy which no one else my age had. As an impressionable 13 years old, this information hurt me. I tried to do yoga everyday, however, my diet did not change. I ate what I ate.

In fact, I started eating more.

I used to run, I was athletic and somehow I thought it was okay for me to eat what I was eating.

When I turned 17, the running and the sports took a back seat but my diet remained the same. In fact, this was the time when I was depressed and I ate to feel less empty. This was also the time when I had a headache every single day and I thought food would help me with it.

From then on, I don’t think I ever got into eating healthy but I want eating unhealthy food as well. I was just in taking too many calories.

I was aware of the concept of calories because of a couple of shows I watched on TV. One was called tango where they cooked low calorie food and other was a cooking show where they mentioned calories for each food item they prepared. It was there at the back of my mind but I was way too sad in my life to think about it.

So I ate 10 rotis in a single meal, there were days in my college when I ate 12-13 gulabjamuns as my lunch and then there were days where I decided that I would just skip the lunch.

I never got to a point where I could be called extremely obese but my weight kept fluctuating for years.

Covid was when I went deep into emotional eating again. That’s when I gained 18 kgs. Damn, that’s a lot.

Anyway, I’m trying to mend my relationship with food. I’m trying to eat healthy, in right proportions and appropriate everything I eat.

I tried counting calories (again) for a while. I was told to stick to 1200calories but that isn’t working for me.

My TDEE is around 2400 and I’m going to stick to around 1900. I might lose weight slowly but I surely will.

Well, that’s all about me. What’s your relationship with food?